The daily photo project comes from the unanticipated mail that I've received about the photos of me on the site. A few quotations:
"You have so many looks, and I can't even say which is my favorite."
"The pic of you with shaved head and face make you look like you are like 16."
"I found you to be attractive as well in your photographs and I will confess I like you better with the shaved head... though the younger images of you with the long hair are equally as sexy. Such an overrated word... "sexy".... yet somehow appropriate nonetheless."
"About your cowboys, i think you might find them sexy, but i really don't, hehehe, i was repulsed originally by your images"
"I look again at your pix to find a very stern, masculine, no bullshit "get on your knees in front of me" type look. The bald shots are especially intriguing for me."
I find these observations to be fascinating and, while rationally understandable, emotionally dissonant. I know I've projected these images, but don't feel what's been reflected back. It's strange.
Yes, there is an element of performativity to the way that I represent myself on the web. I am actively playing with the possibility that by placing these photos on line I might re-script my own identity and become the identity presented here. Yet, interpretation of the photographs, the way that they script desire is disorienting.
I originally placed my photo on the web with ambivalence. I realized that I needed to present my image if the site was to excavate the ways that my identity is inscribed on and by the world. So I put up the first photograph. Many more soon emerged.
Now, I require some visual evidence of the ways that others see me. I want to map the physical changes and better understand the ways that I am manipulating my physical persona and the ways that such changes are related to my own becoming.
Ill post observations as they come to me.